"At Last, We Meet Again".....One day....

So it's been 5 weeks now and it's taken that long to write this down...My best friend, Brody, left me 5 weeks ago tomorrow.

Strange.....

I remember when I got Brody as a puppy. I wasn't looking to get a German Shepherd. But my roommate at the time had grown up with them and she said "You don't have to get one. Let's just go look at them"...famous last words, right?!? I just remember saying I can't get a puppy and walking away. And then looking back to see this spunky little thing climb the pen and run over to me. And he just sat on my shoe. Like he picked me. I was his.

And I was. Right then he had me. And our life together began...

We spent almost 11 years together...he moved to Tennessee with me, then back to Athens. He moved to North Carolina with me, then back to Athens. And he moved to Atlanta with me (not back to Athens this time!!). He saw me through broken relationships and friendships, new jobs and new beginnings. He was always there. This presence...always there.

I guess things started to change a year ago. I found out I was pregnant and things had to change. I couldn't play with the dogs as much. I was working a lot and sleeping as much as I could. And he got old somehow without my realizing it. He couldn't make it up the stairs. And he didn't try to go on walks anymore. But he never complained. He never even whimpered. Even though his body was failing him, he never once let me know it. So maybe that's why I was so surprised when he left. It was like "oh crap - I missed the signs"...

And it was so simple...he just didn't wake up one morning. And everything just stood still. I remember Greg telling me that he thought Brody died. And I remember yelling at him to just shake him. Just shake him...God just let him be asleep. But he was gone. And now I have to learn to live without him.

I know that Brody was a smart dog...and I know he picked the right moment to let me go. He knew that Abby was getting better. And I had her and Greg. And life was different for me now. I didn't need him like I needed him the last 10 years. I wanted him and loved him but I didn't need him. And he was hurting and he was tired. So I'm glad he left. Only because he deserves to be free of all that. So I took him to be cremated. And I saw it through. Because he deserved that too. He deserved the best send off I could give him. And we're waiting to bury his ashes at my parents house. Because he loved it there so much. And because we want his best buddy Shiloh to be able to say goodbye with us.

It still hurts. Maybe it will always hurt. And I still cry every day for him. All the times that I come home and he's not there to greet me, times that I hear a noise outside and he's not there to scare whatever it is away. I've lost that sense of security, that listening ear and sloppy kiss, I've lost my friend....

So I'm sure you're wondering about the title of this blog. I've always loved bluegrass music more than any other kind of music. And I've always thought that Brody was a bluegrass kind of dog. So there's this song by Bela Fleck, an instrumental, called At Last, We Meet Again. It's beautiful. And I think of Brody every time I hear it....because one day we'll meet again. He's in heaven watching over me and waiting for me to get there.

And when I do I know he'll be the first one to greet me...And everything will be right again. And I'll hug him so big and tell him,

"At Last We Meet Again...."

I miss you Brody.

May 6, 2009: Brody was laid to rest on Easter Sunday at my parents house. Everyone was there as we silently buried his ashes. The dogs ran around and played and that was nice. I'm sure Brody thought it was a nice moment.

It seems very fitting that Brody is there now. No matter how old I get or where I go in the world, that will always be "home"....so Brody is home now in more ways than one.

Welcome home Brody...not a day goes by that I don't thank God for your friendship during these last 10 years. You were a good dog and a good friend. We miss you.